Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Overdue Update!!

Where shall I begin? A lot has happened since my last entry. One of the biggest and most important things I would like to discuss would be my husband and I finding out the sex of our baby. What an experience. I could only hope to grasp the amazing feeling in this blog.

I will begin by explaining the knot in my stomach the morning of my doctors appointment. Keep in mind that by this point it had been close to 2 months since my last appointment to my high risk doctor. Only because I was being followed up by my OBGYN, whom I have to say, would not tell me the sex of the baby because he felt my high risk physician should be the one to reveal. Grrr! You can imagine the impatience that grew within me. Putting that aside, I think I did pretty well being patient. Although, my husband might disagree. So, it's the morning of the visit and I get to the appointment an hour early. Desperate you think? Good thing I did because not more than 10 minutes later they called me in. My legs felt so weak I am still amazed at how I made it into the the ultrasound room. My husband at this point felt the need to express that the soul reason of us having this appointment was to find out the sex. As the ultrasound tech laughed, she continued to explain that there are many other things she needs to look for before she would tell us what we are having. In the hopes, of course, that the baby is in a position for them to tell. Well, I would have to say that she was not kidding. She took what felt like a lifetime examining every little part of this baby. Everything from counting fingers and toes to the chambers of the heart to the size of the brain. Almost an hour later, my husband was ready to pay the tech to just tell us what it was when, at last, she asked if we were ready to find out. AHHH! Music to our ears! Now, before I tell you what it is, let me explain what we thought it was going to be.

I, from day one, felt in my soul that it was going to be a boy. I never shied away from it. It just felt right. I also always wanted to have a boy first for the simple reason of having the big brother concept in my soon to be family. My husband, of course, wanted a boy, but somehow had the feeling that it was going to be a girl. He was never able to explain why he felt that way but I guess it was that same feeling I had about it being a boy. Everyone I came in contact with swore I was having a boy with the exception of my mom. She was willing to bet anything that I was having a girl. Hmmm. Interesting odds. Don't you think? Girl=2 Boy=1 million. Ok, enough of that, back to the doctors office now for the reveal.

Needless to say, our response to the Tech's question whether we were ready or not was, YES! So, she goes on to searching for the crucial parts, when she stops and asks if we have a guess. I say boy and hubby says girl. All of a sudden the entire screen turns blue and she says, "Congratulations, you are having a BOY!!!"

I couldn't do anything but cry. I lost it. I was, for the first time in my life, speechless. I had goosebumps from head to toe. After the initial sensation of emotion, my first thought was to look at my husband. I did so to find him with his head in his left hand as his right hand wiping away the tears. It was truly a moment in time that was so special.

Proud, elated, excited, shocked, scared, nervous, curious. I can't even begin to explain the feelings and thoughts running through my mind. Due, in part, to being a first time mom, beginning a new chapter in my life and the fear of not being successful in these. As you may have read in my previous blogs, everything happens for a reason. I truly believe I am being blessed with the opportunity of being a mom, a wife and an all around good human being. I am humbled by the honor of the chance given to me to do so.

I will close by saying I will keep you posted on my progress in motherhood, marriage and life in general. Thank you for reading! Stay tuned....

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I will start out by wishing everyone a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving Day!! Then I will move onto complaining about it. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty to be thankful for but I can't help but feel that no one else feels the same. The only reason I say this is because I am very much disturbed by the fact that everyone has Christmas decorations up and even their Christmas trees. What ever happened to Thanksgiving? I feel so rushed to get through the holidays. I remember schools used to hang pilgrim hats and turkeys on the windows and all you see are candy canes, snowflakes, Santa's and Holly's. What is up with that? I went to the store the other day to pick up some last minute Thanksgiving things and I swear I couldn't find anything. This is sad to me. I feel as if things have become so commercialized. We need to bring back that warm feeling of being with the family and making a big dinner and sit around the table and realize how lucky we are to have each other. Granted, you have those moments during the holidays that you feel you cant wait till its all over but then that inner child in you says you cant wait till it gets here.

I think that is where the problem lies, in our inner child. That is what keeps us going and gives us little jitters just thinking about being around the table listening to crazy family stories and catching up with the new stories. You know what I'm talking about, who is having a baby, who just got married and what neighbor aggravated you this year. I may be sounding a bit petty but as a soon to be mom for the first time, family time has always and will always mean a lot to me. I guess all I can do is make sure I keep that inner child alive to keep things going for my children and grandchildren and god willing great-grandchildren. I can"t expect to change the world and have everyone bring it back but I can make sure I keep it going in my life. With that said, I hope you all enjoy each other and be thankful for the things you do have and dwell on the things you don't. Have fun and be safe. God bless you all!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Knitting Part 2!!!!

Where shall I begin. I expressed my sorry attempt at a difficult pattern in my previous post. Now for an update. Like I had said, I was going to look past the frustration I had at not being able to figure out the pattern and I was going to give it another go. And so I did! The result being quite positive.

I woke up this morning with some slight excitement at giving it another shot. I picked up my knitting needles and took a deep breath and started on my journey yet once again. The beginning, of course, was not my problem but the middle was. So, needless to say, I had quite a bit to go before I ended up in the area in which caused me so much grief. I told myself I would not stop today until I at least reached that point again. So, on and on I went, knitting merrily throughout the day until finally I did it. I'm at that point. Almost quite nervous to move on and come across some other type of complication but a quitter I am not. As I have already successfully proven.

I decided to leave it alone for the rest of the night and give the next stage a shot tomorrow with plenty of rest and a clear mind. In the hopes, of course, to be able to move on smoothly. Now, do you honestly think this will happen? Nope. I think not. I'll tell you what will happen. I will wake up in the morning with that same slight feeling of excitement and I will at that point attempt to tackle the challenge. I might progress smoothly for a while but I am almost willing to bet the clothes I felt I lost in my previous post that I will come across another snag. Now, I want nothing more than to be proven wrong but in the case that I am correct, I am prepared to take a deep breath and get myself through it. After all, don't they say that "Nothing is worth having that's not worth fighting for." Maybe a little much of a statement in the case of a knitting project, but none the less, it's the little things in life that keep us happy. On that note I will close by saying wish me luck and I have attached a photo of my progress so far. Thank you and until next time...

Friday, November 14, 2008


So, about this whole knitting thing. I guess since I found out I was pregnant I all of a sudden feel this urge to do motherly things or grandmotherly things, depending how you look at it. I actually took this new hobby up about 2 weeks ago. Self taught. With the help of the wonderful world wide web. It is actually a lot of fun. Not in the sense of make your heart race with excitement but its relaxing and gives you the sense of accomplishment at the end of a project. In these 2 weeks I have managed to knit a scarf and booties for the baby. Not too bad huh? Well so far this is sounding like another JOYFUL time in my life. Well, are you ready for this? I just reached the point of feeling like I could take my knitting needles and stab someone in the eye if they so much as look in my direction. Why you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. The crazy bitch that I am decided to take on a more challenging pattern. I figure I could chase that feeling of accomplishment I got with my other projects. Boy was I wrong. I feel like a gambler who pushed their luck and lost the clothes off their back in the middle of winter. I got decently far in the pattern before I realized that I had and extra 20 stitches unaccounted for. I went back into the pattern a billion times trying to find out where I might have gone wrong. I did more math trying to find my mistake then I did my entire high school career. I came up with nothing. No matter what I did and how I did it, I had 20 stitches I need to find a home for. I finally got so FRUSTRATED I decided to put my tail between my legs and accept the sudden sensation of defeat that came over me. So what did I do? I took the entire thing apart. Just as I thought the worst was over and I might be able to look at this as a learning experience, VOILA, a sudden light bulb went off in my already aching head. I figured out how to fix it. Yup, that's right. Too little too late. That, my friend would be the frustration to my joy. So, in the end, what did I learn? What was the reason this happened? I know. I am going to pick up those same needles I almost stabbed someone with and I am going to redo this pattern and finish it for the sense of accomplishment I was seeking from the beginning. Except now I will succeed due to the lesson learned my first time around. Just another example of a frustration for every joy. Stay tuned. Its just the beginning! Thanks, until next time.

My Introduction!!!

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am new to the blogging world but I just needed a place that I can come and let out my joys and frustrations. Considering that is what life is all about. For every joy there is a frustration. At least that is how it works for me.

I am married to a wonderful man who of course has his faults, who doesn't, and I am pregnant with our first child. Very exciting. That would be considered my joy at this moment but like I said before there is a frustration for every joy and in my case it would be that I am a high risk pregnancy. With that said, all I can do is take it one day at a time. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad. We might not be able to rationalize the reasoning behind anything negative that happens but down the road when you look back you then realize the path you were led to follow and why. I live with no regrets and I am humbled by my experiences in life. That's not to say that I have blown a fuse here and there. Believe me I have.

Well there will be plenty of time for me to elaborate on my life and my views on it. Just wanted to give you a little inside look on who I am and what I am about. That is just the tip of the iceberg so stay tuned because its going to get interesting. Thank you and until next time......